Confidence
by llama-lover09
Summary: It is important to be confident and it can change situations completely if people act in a slightly different way. So what would have happened if Sonea was a more confident person? How would she act around Akkarin? Would it change when or even if a relationship develops? Who knows. This fic starts halfway through the Novice and follows Sonea and Akkarin with alternating POVs.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I've decided to write a fic about what I think would happen between Akkarin and Sonea if Sonea had been a little more confident than she is in the books. This starts up from halfway through The Novice, just after Akkarin has claimed Sonea's guardianship and will probably have alternating POVs.

Disclaimer: I don't own BMT, the characters or anything else like that.

Her heart was beating too fast by the time she reached the door. She stopped, swallowed hard and then reached out to the door handle. As she touched it, the door swung inwards.

The room inside was lit by a single globe light. A figure sat in one of the luxurious chairs, holding a book in long, pale fingers. He looked up and Sonea felt her stomach clench.

'Come in, Sonea.'

She forced her legs to move. Once inside, the door swung shut behind her, closing with a soft, but decisive click.

'Did you do well in the tests today?'

She looked at him for a moment, thinking about how to answer. She wanted nothing more than to finish this, in her eyes unnecessary, meeting and leave his presence quickly. However, she did not want to appear intimidated by him. If she seemed to be scared then he might decide she would be an easy target, but if she attempted to look brave then he may think twice about attacking her.

She attempted to look up, but found that despite her decision to seem brave, she could not. Angry with herself she replied,

'I am unsure, High Lord, as I have only just completed the tests and will not get my results back until after the winter break. However, I do believe that I performed to the best of my ability, so I do hope that I have done well.'

After having made this little speech she waited for the High Lord to reply. He did not say anything for what felt like an eternity to Sonea and she began to fear that he would be angry because of her audacious answer. When the silence almost became unbearable, she glanced up through her lashes at the High Lord. He looked bemused and was smiling slightly.

'Indeed, Sonea, I am aware of when you will be receiving your results and, as you correctly assumed, was enquiring into how well you believe you had performed in the tests. It is good that you are confident. Now, have you eaten?'

Being shocked by what the High Lord had just said, Sonea could only nod. He had complimented her but at the same time made her feel slightly dim through the first part of his answer. She hoped that the High Lord was unaware of her inner shock and attempted to keep her features High Lord continued to smile slightly and dismissed her.

Sighing silently in relief she walked slowly to the stairs and ascended to her room. Although she was doubtful that this final little act of bravery actually had a point after being unable to answer the High Lord's second question. She mentally chastised herself it had been a very simple question and a short _Yes, High Lord_ would have sufficed. Now she had made it look as if all that was needed to make a scared little girl out of her was his silence, and while this was true she did not want him to believe it was so. She resolved that the next time she saw the High Lord she would look at him properly and answer all his questions, if not fully then at least by talking.

Having arrived at her room she slipped inside and decided that her time could be better spent going over her notes for her last test tomorrow.

Downstairs in the guest room Akkarin remained sat in his chair, not having moved since his novice had entered. He had been amused by her answer to his question.

She had arrived at the Residence very late, no doubt hoping that he had already retired for the night. Predicting this he had stayed in the guest room for far longer than he would have wished, just so that he could prove to her that he would be waiting for her when she came back. This was his Residence and she would do well to remember that.

However, the answer about her tests had surprised him. He was expecting her to silently answer or, if she did use words, he thought it would one word here or there, not the extended answer he had received.

He had been unable to keep the small smile off his face and had remained silent while thinking about what to say back to her. He had had to say something that would be polite enough not to discourage further long answers in the future, but could also not make it seem like he encouraged answers that implied he was unaware of extremely important information, such as when the test results would be received.

He thought that he had achieved this and hoped that her socked silence and inability to answer his second question were evidence of her learning how to properly speak to him. He was not Lord Rothen. She would not treat him like he was her friend, he was her superior and should be treated as such, however he did not want her to be terrified of him. It was a careful balance and one he hoped he could achieve.

Rising he put the book down on a side table and went up the stairs to retire. When he passed Sones's room he noticed that the door was partially open and that she was attempting to look at what he was ding while remaining unobserved herself. While she had obviously failed he did not see how it would be useful to make this apparent to her, so continued to walk along the corridor as if he had not noticed her.

Upon arriving at his room he heard a quick scuffling noise and the click of a door closing properly. It was clear that she had either seen what she had been looking for, unlikely, or realised that she could see very little from her vantage point and would have to open the door further to look, and this would be very noticeable.

Akkarin entered his room and thought of his novice's actions. It was clear that she was not exactly the terrified little girl he had thought she was. At least not completely. Her actions were contradictory- arriving late then giving a full answer, then not speaking and finally walking out calmly and spying on him.

It would be very interesting to see how Sonea decided to act towards him later as she had already surprised him, and he was not an easy man to surprise. He would attempt to encourage her while also making sure that she understood that he was her superior. Hopefully Sonea could be a small interest and keep his mind away from other things if needed.

Okay, so that is my first attempt at a fic so please tell me what you thought of it and whether it made sense. More importantly please tell me if I should continue or not as I do hope that this could become a good fic. Thanks a lot.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so I'm going to continue this fic for a little bit and see if it goes well or not.

Disclaimer: Don't own BMT

As everyone ran past her talking of what to do over the Winter Break Sonea was at a loss. She had nothing that she needed to do. She had no work to do as she had just completed her tests and could not go to the library as it was closed. She had already read all of the books that she owned, stupidly she had not purchased any new ones recently as she had been too pre-occupied with the tests. She considered going into the city to buy some new ones, but it was quite late and she was not sure if Akkarin would allow it.

At this thought she felt resentment. Who was he to dictate her actions? If she wanted to go into the city, she would go. It was not for any menacing purpose like running away or exposing his secret, but for the, almost, eduction purpose of reading.

She enjoyed reading, it was a luxury and it still amazed her when she picked up a book and was able to unravel its secrets through her new found ability to read. Despite all of the negative aspects that had arisen after her throwing the stone during the purge, the gift of becoming literate was one she would always be grateful to the magicians for and would treasure.

Deciding that she really did want to get a new book she started to think how she would go about it. She could not go straight into the city as she didn't have any money, but if she went back to the Residence then Akkarin would probably be there waiting as he was the previous night.

At this point in her musings she recalled her promise to herself, that she would act far more confident than she had previously around the High Lord. She would not let him intimidate her. While it was all very good telling herself that she would do this it was far more difficult to do in practice. Just the thought of returning to the Residence and facing the High Lord was one that turned her stomach and made her freeze in fear.

This would not do! If she could not convince herself while away from the High Lord's presence that he was not to be feared then she would have no chance of achieving this when he was close to her. Steeling herself, she drew in a deep breath and began to walk towards the Residence. As she set off she walked quickly, with determination but by the time she had reached the path to the Residence she was barely moving.

Looking at the door she began to doubt he decision. Should she really face him so soon when there was an alternative? She hadn't even visited the food hall yet, she could definitely spend a few hours there before facing the High Lord. He wouldn't even be aware that she had run away as he was inside and she was outside.

However, if she did not enter then she would be unable to buy the book she desperately wanted. Unsure of what do do Sonea paused. She could re-read an old book, leave this encounter until later and then go into the city tomorrow, when she could spend a whole day there, going through the market and shops in the city. There would be a greater variety of shops and stalls open to her, so she could buy more books and search for ones she really wanted.

Yes, this was certainly a better course of action. As Sonea began to turn, she heard quiet breathing behind her. Gasping she turned quickly. There stood the High Lord, his little half smile gracing his face, watching her carefully. Looking at him she was speechless. Realising that she was staring, she quickly looked down. What should she do? It was obvious that she had been about to leave, if he asked she would be unable to deny this, so what should she do?

A quick plan formed in her mind. Facing him fully she bowed, then attempted to look at him. In the same way that she had tried to look at him when they had last met, she was unable to look him in the eye. The idea of looking into his black, soulless eyes terrified her more than anything else. Despite her terror she did make some progress and managed to look at his chest. This, she thought, was better than looking submissively at the ground. Having achieved this she greeted him, then waited to see how he would respond so that she would be able to assess what her response would be.

Akkarin frowned as he returned from his short visit to Lorlen. The Administrator had taken some personal days and had not been seen by any magicians since the night when he had been forced to wear the blood ring. Although the Guild did not know the reason for Lorlen's unexpected absence they had begun to speculate, as was to be expected, as Lorlen rarely took any days for himself.

Upon hearing these rumours Akkarin had decided to pay his old friend a visit. It could be damaging if people had the time to create obscene reasons for the Administrators sudden leave. Lorlen's reputation could possibly be damaged. Although Akkarin was upset that Lorlen had discovered his secret and then decided not to trust his oldest friend by merely asking about it, he did not want Lorlen's life to be ruined by some of the malicious and enterprising younger magicians who would gladly take Lorlen's place as a Higher Magician.

To prevent these rumours spreading the High Lord had believed that Lorlen should appear in public as soon as possible. While this would usually be the next meet it was a fourth day. This meant that Lorlen would be able to go to the Night Room and discuss everything from the Guild's budget to why Sonea was now the High Lord's favourite, this being the most likely topic for discussion. Despite the fact that the Administrator had initially been unwilling to attend the weekly gathering he had been quickly persuaded to go.

He knew that the only reason Lorlen had gone to the Night Room was because of his fear of what would be done to him and others if he refused. This could be felt clearly by the High Lord though the blood gem he had given Lorlen. These feelings from his oldest friend only caused the black magician even more guilt than he had already felt about the situation he had been forced into.

Pulling his mind away from these thoughts he looked up as he was nearing his Residence. Stood by the door was Sonea. Realising that she was making a decision of some sort he waited behind her. He did this for two reasons: firstly, he did not want to disturb her thoughts and secondly, he wanted to shock her when she found him standing there.

It was obvious to him that she was attempting to persuade herself to enter the Residence, although it seemed that she was failing. After a few moments she nodded to herself and began to turn. Something made it so that she was aware of a presence behind her and she quickly turned, letting out what he could only describe as a terrified gasp. Upon hearing this he could not help but smile slightly. No matter how hard she was trying to hide her fear he could clearly see it. She was transparent to him.

Sonea suddenly noticed that she was staring at him and dropped her gaze. While she did this Akkarin continued to watch her. It would be fascinating to see how she attempted to ignore her original response to him and change it into one that she felt was more appropriate. The Black Magician could practically see her mind working.

A short time later she bowed to him and let out a very short greeting while staring fixedly at his chest. She had attempted to look at his face but had been unable to find the will to do so. This both amused and annoyed the High Lord at the same time. Her responses were always different to what others would be. However, he should not have been so terrifying to her that she was unable to look at him, but he clearly was- at least in her eyes.

Deciding to end the silence between them and find out what was going through her mind, he began to question her.

'Sonea, may I enquire as to why you have spent the last five minutes stood outside of the Residence instead of entering it?'

She was clearly worried by his question, but when she answered she did so in a calm, clear voice.

'I was going to collect some money from my rooms so that I might go and buy a new book in the city as I have already finished all of my old ones. However, I suddenly realised that I had not yet been to the food hall and would be unable to buy any food in the city due to the late hour. Because of this I was about to go to the food hall and go into the city tomorrow instead when I would have plenty of time to browse the stalls on the market and search the book stores in the city for any books that might appeal to me, and I would also be able to buy my midday meal while there.'

After having said this Sonea blushed. While unsure of the reason for it, the blush did amuse Akkarin. He thought through what she had said quickly and realised why she had blushed. She had just told him that she would be going into the city tomorrow so she could avoid him for a prolonged period of time. This again re-enforced Sonea's contradictory manner. She had spoken to him and had done so quite confidently, but at the same time had basically told him that she was going to go out of her way to avoid him. At that moment he decided that he wanted to spend more time with her and knew just how he was going to achieve this.

Connecting his mind fully to Takan's he questioned his servant

_-Takan, is dinner almost finished?_

Takan's reply was instantanious as always.

__Yes, master. It will be ready in ten minutes. I hope that this is acceptable._

_-It is Takan. Would there be enough for my Novice to dine with me?_

__Yes, master, there would be..._

Akkarin could sense his servant's surprise and confusion but merely requested that the dining room be set for two people. He also asked that a bottle of his favourite wine be served with the meal. After Takan had agreed to carry out his master's requests the High Lord left his mind.

This exchange had taken only a moment, so when the High Lord continued his conversation with his Novice, it did not seem odd.

'It would be foolish for you to return to the food hall at this time, Sonea. Most of the cooks will have left and there will be very little food.'

Seeing her confusion he continued quickly, before she could interrupt.

'The best option available to you at this time is for you to dine here. My servant has prepared a meal for us. It will be ready shortly. Please follow me to the dining room.'

Sonea's confusion quickly turned to fear. She could not outright refuse this offer, but she most definitely did not want to suffer his company through the meal. She attempted to politely decline.

'I couldn't possibly, thank you. It would be unfair on the kitchen servants in the Residence. After all, they only expected to make enough food for one person. I will return to the food hall, I am sure that there will be at least one cook there to serve me.'

Akkarin had expected this, this girl could be very predictable at times.

'You will dine with me. Takan always makes more than is needed, so it will go to waste if you do not eat with me.'

This left no room for discussion and the High Lord walked past his novice and made his way to the dining room. He could hear her follow slowly and was pleased that he had not needed to demand that she follow him. Upon arriving at the dining room Akkarin seated himself at the head of the table and indicated that Sonea should sit at his left. She hesitantly sat and began to survey the room, which Takan had quickly prepared for them. He was looking forward to this meal as it would give him a far better insight into how his Novice would respond to him when in his company for prolonged periods of time. Despite him looking forward to this time it was clear that Sonea was feeling the opposite and would want nothing more than to leave the room. However, that would make this meal all the more interesting. At least in his opinion.

Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it. It would be a great help if you would review now. PLEASE!


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